Cardigirl Knits

Sundara Stash

2009-03-02T12:07:00.005-05:00

I had some luck in the February updates.

Another idea from Sandy

2008-06-04T23:34:00.006-04:00

Sandy had a fun photo meme on her blog yesterday, which she found on KT's blog so I thought I would try it out.

I love how mine turned out.

Here are the questions:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name

1. Saint Mary's Church (Where John F. Kennedy Married Jacqueline Bouvier), 2. Fried Ipswich Clam Bellies, 3. Brownsburg High School, 4. Blue plums, 5. Hugh Laurie, 6. The Almighty Sugar-Rimmed Lemon Drop, 7. Scotland - 2006 - '05 May - 143 - Isle of Skye, 8. Creme Brule, 9. three_wise_women, 10. candid child, 11. Stronger, 12. Oh, my dog

This was a fun meme. For some reason I cannot figure out how to blog directly from Flickr, so the links do not work.

Thanks Sandy and KT! Any day I get to spend time searching for pictures of Hugh Laurie is a good day!

MA Sheep and Wool Festival 2008

2008-05-28T10:52:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, a good friend and I drove to Cummington for the Massachusetts Sheep and Woolcraft Fair. It was a perfect day for a drive, which was good, as I missed exit 4 (I believe we were discussing our love for the shows Buffy and Angel at the time and were too involved to notice the exit) and also exit 3 which meant we had to drive all the way to exit 2 before being able to turn around and go back. The joys of the Mass Pike. It only added another 40 miles or so to the trip. But the weather being lovely, and the conversation scintillating, we managed to arrive in good spirits eager to windowshop as we both had vowed that we had enough yarn already.

Yeah, that never works.

Of course, I took no pictures at the festival, because, um, well, I was busy looking at everything. I did see two adorable Border Collie puppies the very first thing, and was sorely tempted to bring one home. I miss having a dog. But I resisted, and good thing too, because the poor dog would have been lonely. I have two cats, and they don't mind that I'm gone 10 hours at a time, but a dog would. So, first temptation resisted.

I like the smaller festivals. Don't get me wrong, I adore the excitement of Rhinebeck, but I always feel like I cannot possibly see it all there, and the smaller festivals, like NH Sheep and Wool and the Cummington event, offer a lovely array of goods to peruse. We wandered through the barns and found Sliver Moon Farm's booth. There my resistance to temptation ended. A certain lovely someone blogged about her purchase of their yarn last October and I've been lusting after this yarn for ever since.

So, I bought it. Ahem. Smoky Plum, fingering weight superwash wool and it is really beautiful. The shop also had the most glorious knitted wrap on display, made from this yarn, of which I have no pictures, unfortunately and there was no pattern available, but my hope is to knit something very similar to that wrap. Possibly the Sampler Shawl from Folk Shawls. (Ravelry link)

Two pictures of the haul from Cummington, because why post one picture, when you have two? They are all Sliver Moon yarns. In the middle is the Smoky Plum and on top is a skein of laceweight called Granite that is the most gorgeous blue gray. I couldn't leave it behind. The other fingering weight is called Grape Ice and it is as lovely as the Smoky Plum. Since I couldn't decide between the two, I brought both home. So much for will power.

And one more picture of the yarn with Manny. Oooooh, ahhhhhh! Isn't he cute?

My final purchase of the day and one of the sweetest. MMMmMmMmMm maple sugar and maple cream. Yep, no will power at all.

Memorial Day Meme

2008-05-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

Sandy posted this meme on her blog, and tagged all her readers. So here I go:

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

My husband and I went to Scotland for our 20th anniversary. It was a beautifully planned trip, Scotland was amazing. I loved it. But it was also when I realized my marriage was in deep trouble, by virtue of my husband not really talking to me, at least not like we used to converse. I kept trying to engage his attention, but could not. He seemed almost exasperated with me. It was scary, and about to get scarier.

I had a 15 year old and a 12 year old, and both were exceedingly busy with sports and ballet and school. There was no time for me time. But I loved all the hub bub. Truly I did. I kinda miss it now.

I weighed a lot less back then, but we won't go into that.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today?

One, clear off patio from debris from trees so I can sit out and enjoy summer. (done) Two, plant annuals in beds. (done) Three, buy more plants, because I never ever buy enough the first time through. (done) Four, laundry. Always laundry at the end of a holiday. (done, almost. Needs folding) 5. Knit on shawl. (did 5 rows)

3. Snacks I enjoy:

Microwave popcorn, ice cream, cheese and crackers, Kashi Go Lean bars, chocolate (dark), and Trader Joe's Italian Sodas. Ice cream is my favorite though. Yum!(see about line above about weight)

4. Places I’ve lived:

Indiana, Tennessee, Virginia, Texas, Tennessee again, Minnesota, Upper Michigan, Minnesota again, Ohio, and now Massachusetts. Lots of movin' in my life as a wife.

5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Well, first, I would pay off my family's debt. I mean my mom's and sisters' and brothers' and set up trust funds for my kids and nieces and nephews. And I would get some things fixed around the house. I kind of like my house, but it could use some maintenance. And I would hire a sexy lawn guy, cause I'm freakin' tired after planting all my flowers today.

Then I would want to set up a foundation that would provide low or no interest loans to people in need. And have support for them in the way of educating them about running businesses, making investments, and succeeding in taking care of themselves. I would want to use the money to empower them.

Thanks for the meme Sandy, it was fun!

E is for Eureka! (or Manny being Manny)

2008-05-23T19:10:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm, I think this is where she hides it.

Now to just pry this open.

Just a little bit further.

Is that it?

EUREKA!!!

Now to kill the package.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

E is for Ecstasy too!

D is for Done!

2008-04-09T16:20:00.000-04:00

I have a finished object to blog for you!!! I am so far behind in the ABC along, I thought I would use this post to fill in for D for which I could not think of an good entry anyway. Dog was already done and I thought about Dragon for a bit, but, well, lagged on that as well. So, you get an FO. Hmmm. Maybe I should have used it for F instead.

I am finally done with That Little Scarf, my first Anne Hanson pattern. I love how this turned out. It was a real pleasure to knit and I'm certain I will make this again.

I love the way Anne's patterns have the line by line instructions as well as charted instructions. Everything is clear and easy to figure out.

The yarn is from The Woolen Rabbit, her Opulence Silk blend. It is a perfect yarn for this pattern.

I have never blocked a piece before which tells you something about the types of things I knit. Blocking is amazing. I loved the scarf before I blocked it, but it became quite another creature after blocking. It is smooth and soft and the morning glory pattern shows very well.

I feel pretty pleased with myself.

In another fit of creativity, I made these for a work event on Tuesday. I was extremely proud of these as well. (and they were gone pretty quickly.)

Now that's a great idea!

2008-03-29T10:19:00.000-04:00

Check out the story in the Boston Globe today about two young men who are doing something pretty interesting. They have formed the Typo Eradication Advancement League. and are now traveling around the country, seeking to correct what signage errors they can. Ha ha! What a fun idea!

Haven't we all noticed the incorrect use of an apostrophe, or the misspelling of a word, in a public sign and wanted to fix it? Or am I the only one with that particular, um, attribute? Well, these two young men are doing what they can to eradicate poor use of punctuation and grammar. And see the country at the same time. Smart guys!

Birthday Reflections

2008-03-25T12:27:00.000-04:00

Tuesday was my birthday. Instead of posting a long, rather maudlin post about turning 53 I thought it would be more interesting to do the movie meme that's been going around the blogs instead. I don't know if I get enough traffic through here to warrant even putting them up but it was fun looking up the quotes. Hard to pick just one in some cases. Some of these quotes are from "small" movies, so it may take awhile for them to be guessed. Good luck!

Here's my version of the movie quote meme.

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. Looking them up is cheating, please don’t.

1. There are a lot of things I can take, and some things I can't. But what I can't take is when my older brother, who's everything that I want to be, starts losing faith in things. I saw that look in your eyes last night. I don't ever want to see that look in your eyes again. ~Signs

2. I thought it was from God... who else would have that kind of money? ~Millions

3. It's funny how people see me and treat me, since I'm really just a simple, boring person. ~The Station Agent

4. See, you are sad and happy. You don't smile but you are content. You are sad and happy at the same time. In Brazil we have a term for that - it's 'Saudade'. It's like ... melancholic, nostalgic; it's very Bossanova. ~Next Stop Wonderland

5. Anyway, listen, I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people. Don't worry, for my script. ~Adaptation

6. Have her then, but you're a lordly fool. She's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you... it takes a woman to know it. ~Shakespeare in Love

7. Oh, by the way. When in doubt, I find retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin. Good luck. ~ Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - logogirl

8. We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other. ~Best in Show - Gloria

9. A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around! ~ Pirates of the Caribbean - Curse of the Black Pearl.

10. I would sell my grandmother for a drink - and you know how I love my grandmother. ~The Philadelphia Story - Knitter

Okay, I don't know how to do the strike out so I'll post the answer in another color after the quote.

I have left these up for a week, now, so I think anyone who was going to hazard a guess has done so. I'll post the rest of the titles. Thanks for playing!

C is for Choir

2008-03-17T17:22:00.000-04:00

As a young girl and woman I sang in choirs. Church and school choirs, college choruses. I always enjoyed learning the music and being part of something bigger than myself. Hearing each part come together to create the harmonies was a thrilling process for me. I never took voice lessons, thinking instead to use only what voice I was born with. Which has always been definitely alto range, and now threatens to slip into the tenor and bass range as I get older.

After I was married, I sang in Sweet Adelines for about a year. Barbershop harmony for women, It might not be everyone's idea of great music, but it was fun to learn to sing close harmonies. And the women were great. It was the working together towards a goal that made it all the more fun.

But then, we moved, and I had one child and then another, and the time and energy for choral singing disappeared. I was focusing on raising my kids and didn't even realize how much I missed singing.

Then, a few years ago, my husband left, and soon after, my son moved into his own apartment, and then the next year, my daughter left to go to college. And suddenly, I had a great deal of time on my hands. I knew that going home 5 nights a week to two cats and a dark house was not something I would relish for long.

You might think it's odd that a grown woman was at a loss for things to do, but such was the state I had allowed my life to fall into. Especially during the hectic years of raising two teenagers, one of whom was a pretty serious dancer and required lots of taxi service. Anyway, the thought of having my weekday evenings free was an exciting and kind of daunting one.

I started thinking about things that I would like to do that I hadn't had the time for before, and choir singing came to mind. I didn't want a church choir, although those are lovely, and I didn't want a very formal choir either, as I'm not an exceedingly formal singer. I went online and started searching for local choral groups. Ones that were not too fussy about who they let sing with them, but who worked at their music.

Surprisingly, there were several options. And in the fall of 2006, I joined the Newton Singers. I was very nervous at first, as I had not done any singing (other than in the shower or the car) for about 10 years, and before that, it was intermittent at best. But the conductor and the other choir members welcomed me and put me at ease very quickly.

Joining this choir has been a wonderful thing for me. I had forgotten just how much I loved to sing. Hard to believe that one can forget something so enjoyable, but for years I focused on everyone but myself. Choir is something I do just for me. And the reward has been great. We sing Broadway show tunes, mostly, although this year a couple of Beatles songs made it into the roster. And we work hard! But mostly, we have a good time. Our conductor works very hard with us, and encourages us to become better singers, and we do!

We have one performance, in May or June, and the audience is made up of family, but it is such a rush to perform. Last year, my daughter came and sat through the entire concert, bless her, and I felt so good to have her there. I'm not certain she really LIKED the music, but she was really sweet to me about the performance.

I find, that after practice, I'm energized and positive and uplifted. Now, why did it take me so long to find something that would do that for me?

A Visitor on Saturday

2008-03-10T21:24:00.001-04:00

When I woke up on Saturday and stumbled into the kitchen to feed the cats and make my self a pot of coffee, I fleetingly glimpsed a white, furry thing on the back deck. After making sure the white cat that owns me was still inside, I went to the door to look more carefully. Look who was looking back!

Oddly enough, the cats were not too interested in this visitor. Jazzie, the cat at the bottom of the picture, watched for awhile and then strolled over the to dry food bowl with an insouciant air. (Don't you just love that word, insouciant? It trips off the tongue, makes me want to say it all day long!)

I'm not certain why an opossum would be out during the day, as they are more nocturnal and shy. It was the day of tremendous rains here in the Boston area, so perhaps its den had been flooded out.
I think this one was a female, as it was a bit smaller than the other 'possum that was running around in the back yard, that I didn't get a picture of.

I like wildlife, as long as it stays outside, and 'possums are interesting little creatures. Supposedly they have not changed much since the age of the dinosaurs, and they seem very old-soulish. I'm glad I got the chance to see one up close. I've only seen them in the late evening, at dusk, and usually running away. This one seemed to want to have its picture taken.

For Sandy

2008-02-29T15:13:00.000-05:00

A while back while browsing through the blogs I found that Sandy had posted about knitting a lovely scarf called Windrows fromFoxfire Fibers that she purchased at Rhinebeck.

I had purchased the same kit at Rhinebeck and was working on my scarf (well, muffler) and was happy to learn that her scarf was looking much like mine. That meant I was knitting it correctly. Or at least the same as Sandy was.

Anyway, Sandy posted a lovely self-portrait with scarf on her blog and I couldn't wait to finish mine, so I could post a duplicate self-portrait.

It's not as easy as it looks to take a picture of one's self.

However, just in time for the latest cold snap, I present Mary with Windrows.

That Little Scarf

2008-02-19T23:08:00.000-05:00

Please excuse the dark pictures. I'm still figuring out my new camera. This is a project that I've been working on for several weeks now. It's That Little Scarf a pattern from Anne Hansen. I love it. It took awhile to get rolling on the pattern, but Vicki (the genius) suggested using stitch markers for the repeats on one of her lace projects and once I did that, the pattern made sense. It was like magic. Thanks Vicki!

I'm quite pleased with my progress. It is very satisfying to see the pattern emerge, row by row, and to get to the end of each row with the right amount of stitches for each one.

The yarn is Opulence from The Woolen Rabbit and it is the most luscious color of periwinkle blue. There's such depth to it, and it shows the pattern off well I think.

I can't wait to finish this and wear it!

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T11:24:00.002-05:00

Bought these tulips last Sunday, because tulips make me happy. And they offer the hope of Spring!

"Keep your faith in beautiful things;
in the sun when it is hidden,
in the Spring when it is gone."
- Roy Gibson

B is for Belated

2008-02-06T11:47:00.000-05:00

belated |biˈlātid| adjective coming or happening later than should have been the case : a belated apology. DERIVATIVES belatedly adverb belatedness noun ORIGIN early 17th cent.(in the sense [overtaken by darkness] ): past participle of obsolete belate [delay] (see be- , late ).

I thought belated was appropriate for my B entry in the ABC along, as I am behind schedule. Belated is something I am a lot of the time. I try so hard to stay on schedule, but then one thing will happen that slows me down slightly and then another thing will happen to push me further off my timeline and before I know it, I'm late again.

It used to frustrate me so much when I was knocked off schedule. In order to stay on time I had lists and precisely timed routes and a mantra I would repeat of "10 minutes for the grocery store, 15 minutes to get to ballet lessons, 20 minutes from there to the high school, and if there's no traffic, I'll be getting dinner started by 7." It was all thought out to the last minute. And woe to anyone who got in my way.

Overtaken by darkness.

I really liked this part of the definition, because that is exactly what it feels like if I get too far behind in my schedule. It happens less often these days as my time is more my own and I am not trying to keep to others' schedules.

But with age comes grace, hopefully, and I find I am more forgiving of my tendency to procrastinate. Now if I can learn to forgive myself for loving chocolate so much.

Next up: An easy scarf that is driving me nuts!

"It sifts from Leaden Sieves" Emily Dickinson

2008-02-01T13:56:00.000-05:00

It sifts from Leaden Sieves —
It powders all the Wood.
It fills with Alabaster Wool
The Wrinkles of the Road —

It makes an Even Face
Of Mountain, and of Plain —
Unbroken Forehead from the East
Unto the East again —

It reaches to the Fence —
It wraps it Rail by Rail
Till it is lost in Fleeces —
It deals Celestial Vail

To Stump, and Stack — and Stem —
A Summer's empty Room —
Acres of Joints, where Harvests were,
Recordless, but for them—

It Ruffles Wrists of Posts
As Ankles of a Queen —
Then stills its Artisans — like Ghosts —
Denying they have been —

I have been taking a poetry appreciation class for a couple of years now through BCAE, Boston Community Adult Education. Many of the members of the class have been with the instructor for years. In the two years I've been in the group, we've studied Theodore Roethke, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Dylan Thomas, and now, Emily Dickinson.
I enjoy reading the poems and discussing them in a group, because everyone brings so much to the discussion. I learn far more than I ever would reading the poems on my own.

The Emily poem posted here seemed appropriate to me for this time of year. She certainly was familiar with Massachusetts winters, living in Amherst and leaving it only a couple of times in her life.

The language of the poem is so perfectly chosen to describe a snowstorm, and yet it enhances the description of snow as well. I find it lovely.

There are two versions of this poem. The one below is the one she submitted for publication. You might find other versions in older publications, as she would often have other words written out to the side of the poems. One version has Juggler's Flowers instead of Figures.

Here is the second version:

It sifts from Leaden Sieves -
It powders all the Wood -
It fills with Alabaster Wool
The Wrinkles of the Road -

It scatters like the Birds -
Condenses like a Flock -
Like Juggler's Figures situates
Upon a baseless Arc -

It traverses yet halts -
Disperses as it stays -
Then curls itself in Capricorn -
Denying that it was -

These are some photos that I took during the last big storm and the one of the footprints through my backyard was from last Sunday.

Happy 3rd annual silent poetry reading day!

A Trio of Harlots

2008-01-28T21:13:00.000-05:00

I thought the title might pique some interest in the blog. Heh. I'm sneaky like that.

These
are three scarves knitted with the Yarn
Harlot's One Row pattern.

While her scarf was made with some fabulous yarn she had spun herself, mine are knitted from some fabulous hand spun yarn I purchased. Being the slow, er, deliberate knitter that I am, I skipped the step
of spinning the yarn myself. It would probably take me 5 years to get
anything long enough to knit with. So, knowing myself as I do, I bought
lovelyhand spun, hand dyed yarn from Greta Dise's booth at Rhinebeck. I love her color combinations.

This is a very simple knit and lends itself well to knitting and watching House, and Lost. I tend to have difficulty walking and chewing gum at the same time, so I am thrilled when I find a pattern I love, which allows me to creatively use yarn that I love,to create a finished object that I love, all while watching television I
love. It meets all my needs, as a knitter and a tv addict. Who could ask for anything more?

__________________________________

Postscript.
I want thank you all for the kind comments about my Manny post. You all
are very encouraging to a new blogger. Manny is truly a great cat and
my daughter and I love him to bits. Whenever Beth comes home from
college he becomes "her" cat again, which is fun to see. The basket
that I took his picture in is one of his favorite hiding spots. And I
am so glad he's a part of the household. Except when he decides that
4:30 a.m. is an appropriate time for us to get up and start the day. As
spring gets closer and dawn comes earlier and the birds start singing
more, he'll be waking me up more often. Those are the days I wonder
about my choice of pets!

Cat in a basket

2008-01-21T17:01:00.001-05:00

This is Manny. He's sort of a miracle cat, as you'll soon see.

He joined my household in 2004 when I already owned a Cardigan Welsh Corgi dog named Sherman, and two other cats, Kirby and Jazzy. I don't remember what prompted me to adopt another cat that winter but I am so glad I did. He brightened up a household that at the time was threatened to be overwhelmed by sadness.

My husband had moved out in the summer of 2003 and while I was functional, that was about all that I was. My youngest child, Beth, was still at home and though I doubted her, she told me she was "fine." After all, she could see her father whenever she wanted to and call him anytime. Her schedule had not changed. She was dancing and being a junior in high school, which kept her very busy. She was not exhibiting any real sadness that I could see. Or anger. While I was struggling with figuring out how to best live my life, and grieving, I was also trying to get her to open up to me about her feelings about all of this, something she resolutely refused to do. I had to take her at her word.

The change I saw in Beth after Manny joined the family opened my eyes to how affected she had been by having to be the one person left at home to deal with a very sad mom. She became "lighter." A 16 year old who was smiling. It was wonderful to see.

Beth is the one who named him. We have a tradition of naming our cats after favorite baseball players. Kirby (after Kirby Puckett of the Twins) was a revered member of the family for 17 years. So, Manny had little choice but to be named after Manny Ramirez, Beth's favorite player (at the time). When she's frustrated at the baseball player, she says that his name is Mani, short for Manicotti.

He’s very affectionate, often seeking out affection, in the manner of a dog. Many cats are aloof and reserved, but he insists on being with me wherever I am in the house, and if he's outside when I come home from work, he runs to meet me, then walks to and fro in front of me, checking to see if I am still following behind him. He loves to be outside with me when I do yard work.

He is a mighty hunter. He’ll bring down squirrels and rabbits bigger than he is. He wears a collar with a bell because I was tired of finding bits and pieces of rabbits, squirrels, mice, voles and birds on my front porch. As much as he loves to be outside, I try to keep him in when the birds are nesting and teaching their young to fly.

When I first brought Manny home, he was afraid of the dog I then owned, Sherman, a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. (That's where Cardigirl comes from.) By the second month of living with us, Sherman was Manny's dog. He would run up to greet her whenever she came in the door. (yes Sherman was a girl.) Eventually, because my other cats would not allow Manny to sleep with them, he started to sleep on top of Sherman. First the dog would go to sleep. Then Manny would climb up on top of her and curl up. I guess the cat was light enough that he didn't wake the dog when he curled up on top of her. It is one of my biggest disappointments that I did not have a working camera when this was going on. It was so cute it hurt.

When Sherman passed away, Manny mourned her for a long time. He would look for her in all of her usual places. Eventually, he began to sleep curled up next to me. He never slept with me before Sherman died. After I go to sleep, Manny comes in the room and curls up behind my knees. I often wake finding I have been pushed to the edge of the bed as the cat has taken over.

Because Beth and I adopted this cat together, we have become closer. For a long while, we were not able to communicate well, (mothers and daughters, sigh) but Manny gives us a mutual subject and a safe place to start conversations. And for me, Manny has made my life brighter as well. Any cat who can salve the relationship between a daughter and her mom is a miracle cat. He was the first step in my "new" life that led me to think that I would be fine.

A is for...

2008-01-18T15:16:00.001-05:00

While enjoying a Reese’s Cup at work this afternoon, I casually glanced at the calendar and realized that I was behind schedule already for the ABC-along being hosted by Vicki. Imagine my chagrin. So I hopped on my trusty computer and started typing.

Now I’ve been contemplating the letter A and words that would make a great first post for some time. I wanted something terrific, and different and special, as I have been a poor blogger up til now and wanted to redeem myself a bit. A number of ideas were mulled over and jotted down. Most were rejected. I wasn’t worried, though. I had plenty of time. We can see where that kind of thinking led me.

One idea that I thought had great possibilities was A is for Adipose Tissue. Thinking about it, I realized it was timely and topical, as most people I know are struggling with some additional Adipose Tissue they grew during the holidays. I even went so far as to read about it on Wikipedia, where I was adequately grossed out. (Warning: pictures of mouse adipose tissue, as in dissection. Yuck.) And then, the thought of providing a picture of my very own rolls of Adipose Tissue brought the whole idea to an end. The world is not yet ready for that.

The second choice, and one I’m glad to say did not involve pictures of me in any way, was A is for Aftermath. This is the time of year when I am preoccupied with sweeping up the bits and pieces leftover from the holidays. I reflect on the time that brought my family close to me and how happy it made all of us to be together, and I am grateful, even as I am left to wrestle the tree out the door and pack up the ornaments and organize the recycling and clean out the refrigerator, alone. The holidays were great. The aftermath makes me appreciate them even more.

And one other idea caught my mind. I’ve been taking a poetry appreciation class for awhile now. Poetry is important to me. I love how a wonderfully written poem can crystallize an idea or an experience so thoroughly, with few words.

And so I thought, perhaps A is for Auden. As in WH Auden. One of my favorite poems about the holidays was written by him. I thought I would close with it. I'm not certain I understand everything he's trying to say in it. But every time I read it, I find more to think about.

Christmas Oratorio

Well, so that is that.  Now we must dismantle the tree,
Putting the decorations back into their cardboard boxes --
Some have got broken -- and carrying them up to the attic.
The holly and the mistletoe must be taken down and burnt,
And the children got ready for school.  There are enough
Left-overs to do, warmed-up, for the rest of the week --
Not that we have much appetite, having drunk such a lot,
Stayed up so late, attempted -- quite unsuccessfully --
To love all of our relatives, and in general
Grossly overestimated our powers.  Once again
As in previous years we have seen the actual Vision and failed
To do more than entertain it as an agreeable
Possibility, once again we have sent Him away,
Begging though to remain His disobedient servant,
The promising child who cannot keep His word for long.
The Christmas Feast is already a fading memory,
And already the mind begins to be vaguely aware
Of an unpleasant whiff of apprehension at the thought
Of Lent and Good Friday which cannot, after all, now
Be very far off.  But, for the time being, here we all are,
Back in the moderate Aristotelian city
Of darning and the Eight-Fifteen, where Euclid's geometry
And Newton's mechanics would account for our experience,
And the kitchen table exists because I scrub it.
It seems to have shrunk during the holidays.  The streets
Are much narrower than we remembered; we had forgotten
The office was as depressing as this.  To those who have seen
The Child, however dimly, however incredulously,
The Time Being is, in a sense, the most trying time of all.
For the innocent children who whispered so excitedly
Outside the locked door where they knew the presents to be
Grew up when it opened.  Now, recollecting that moment
We can repress the joy, but the guilt remains conscious;
Remembering the stable where for once in our lives
Everything became a You and nothing was an It.
And craving the sensation but ignoring the cause,
We look round for something, no matter what, to inhibit
Our self-reflection, and the obvious thing for that purpose
Would be some great suffering.  So, once we have met the Son,
We are tempted ever after to pray to the Father;
"Lead us into temptation and evil for our sake."
They will come, all right, don't worry; probably in a form
That we do not expect, and certainly with a force
More dreadful than we can imagine.  In the meantime
There are bills to be paid, machines to keep in repair,
Irregular verbs to learn, the Time Being to redeem
From insignificance.  The happy morning is over,
The night of agony still to come; the time is noon:
When the Spirit must practice his scales of rejoicing
Without even a hostile audience, and the Soul endure
A silence that is neither for nor against her faith
That God's Will will be done, That, in spite of her prayers,
God will cheat no one, not even the world of its triumph.

-- W. H. Auden

One of my favorite poems is this one

2007-02-02T14:55:00.000-05:00

Big Wind

Where were the greenhouses going,
Lunging into the lashing
Wind driving water
So far down the river
All the faucets stopped? ---
So we drained the manure machine
For the steam plant,
Pumping the stale mixture
Into the rusty boilers,
Watching the pressure gauge
Waver over to red,
As the seams hissed
And the live steam
Drove to the far
End of the rose-house,
Where the worst wind was,
Creaking the cypress window-frames,
Cracking so much thin glass
We stayed all night,
Stuffing the holes with burlap;
She rode it out,
That old rose-house,
She hove into the teeth of it,
The core and the pith of that ugly storm,
Ploughing with her stiff prow,
Bucking into the wind-waves
That broke over the whole of her,
Flailing her sides with spray,
Flinging long strings of wet across the roof-top,
Finally veering, wearing themselves out, merely
Whistling thinly under the wind-vents;
She sailed until the calm morning,
Carrying her full cargo of roses.

~ Theodore Roethke

Things have been a bit squirrelly, so far this year.

2007-01-02T15:32:00.000-05:00

Already I am falling behind. I promised to post this list yesterday, but somehow, that never happened. In between the taking down of the Christmas tree and the cooking of the dinner and the recycling of all the boxes and bottles and cans used during the holiday, I never found the time. Ah well, the list is really just for me. The exercise of writing them down may help me to realize them.

1. Find ways to be useful.
2. Love more freely and more completely.
3. Take care of my physical and mental health.
4. Enjoy each day for what it offers me.

And I plan to achieve these lofty goals by learning to knit socks! Please stop laughing. I'm serious. I'm certain that if I learn how to knit a sock or two, I should be able to reach all of these goals.

Anyway, that's the plan. Learn to knit socks, join the Club,
become fulfilled.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

2006-12-31T09:47:00.000-05:00

"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go."

Well, I suppose I should really do a summing up of the year. Seems fitting that I find the time to post only on holidays. That's when I do most of my contemplating.

Christmas this year was fine. Since my husband left in 2003, we have still celebrated the holidays and birthdays with the kids together. Why? Because he wants to, and I wanted him there. It was my one way of seeing him again. Not the healthiest thing for me, emotionally, I suppose, but still, something I wanted. So I went for it.

The past years, he has slept over at the house, and we've all been together again for 3 days, eating, laughing, working puzzles and playing games, as if we were still a whole family. It was important to the kids that he be there, and I didn't have the will to tell him he shouldn't come over. It felt "normal" with him under the roof of our house again. I had some peace when he was there.

Of course, afterwards, I usually have a hard time. He withdraws so completely that the kids and I do not hear from him for a couple of weeks or more. But I think this year may be different for me. Perhaps I am beginning to realize that I deserve a bit more in life, than the odd holiday visit.

This picture I took when we all met up together to have lunch with his cousin and his cousin's two sons. My three are in the middle of the shot. They look happy and good. One of my goals throughout this process was to keep the kids happy. Looks like maybe I've succeeded with that one.

This year has been a year of changes for me. My daughter left to go to college and I find myself living alone for the first time in almost 30 years. I have two cats to keep me company and I'm beginning to find out about the things I like to do, just for myself. I joined a community choir, and am astonished at how much I truly enjoy it. How could I have forgotten such a thing? We have such fun singing opera and swing and Broadway tunes. Working as a team to draw a good sound from so many diverse voices is a real joy.

I've been taking a poetry appreciation class and have rediscovered the joy of learning about the written word, of discussing meaning and symbolism and religion and philosophy with other interested persons. A 16 week class on Theodore Roethke's poetry led me on a discovery of looking at the world through his vision. Wonderful.
The title of this post is from one of his poems The Waking. You can find it here

I leave you with this picture of Manny, our youngest cat. He's a sweetie who loves attention. I hope to be as relaxed as he looks here. And in the new year, I hope to focus more on living, loving and being happy. He looks like a good role model, does he not?

Goals for 2007? I'll post my list tomorrow.

2006-11-13T11:26:00.000-05:00

Raking Leaves

On Saturday, I raked the leaves in my front yard. It is a small yard, compared to most yards, but still it manages to capture a good amount of leaves. I don't mind raking, when I finally get down to it. It's good exercise, I'm outside in the fresh air, and with each bag I fill, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

There are other ways to deal with the leaves. I could hire a lawn company. Most of my neighbors do that. Their lawns are picture perfect green and no leaves litter their lawns. Or I could buy my own leaf blower, a very noisy, and from what I've read, pollution-oriented tool. Or I could leave them on the lawn and just let them mulch. This last choice is not as good for the lawn as it sounds. Too many leaves and they smother the grass below. So, I rake. I used to rake with my husband, but he's not an option anymore. He's not got any leaves to deal with in his apartment in the Back Bay.

While I was raking, I was contemplating, and that is the part of the raking that I love. I'm doing two things at once. Raking, raking, thinking, thinking. At first, I thought about how many spiders I was probably touching when I picked the leaves up to put them in the bags. I know there are spiders in these leaves, because I see them. They crawl up the sides of the the bags or they move away when I rake. My heart pounds a bit at first when I see them, and then I just breathe deep, accept that they are there, and keep raking. (I also wear gloves, cause the thought of actually holding one in my hands is not my idea of a good time.)

Then I thought about the argument I hear every year about leaf raking. When is the optimum time to rake? After all the leaves are off the trees? A little each week? And what about the neighbor who never rakes and just lets the wind take the leaves away? Is he/she as inconsiderate as some people think? This question fascinates me.

I'm kind of a live and let live type of gal, so when I hear a very good friend confess to me that if her neighbor lets his leaves blow into her yard again this year, she's going to bag them up and put them on his lawn, I'm kind of surprised. I'm not sure how she knows which leaves are his as opposed to which leaves are from her trees, and wouldn't some of the leaves from her trees also blow into others' yards? This logic of hers escapes me, but if I ask three or four different people how they deal with the leaves in their lives, I get very strong responses. Either people feel strongly that some people are too vigilant about their lawns, or they feel that others are not vigilant enough. There is really no middle ground.

I'd be interested to hear others' thoughts on the whole leaf question. Is it okay to wait til late in the season to rake your leaves or is it rude and inconsiderate to let your leaves blow into other's yards?

No camera yet, it is still broken, or I would have had some awesome pics of the 12 giant bags of leaves I raked and of the lovely spiders I saw and of the beautiful yellow tulip-shaped leaves on my tulip tree, which have yet to come down.

2006-10-23T09:48:00.000-04:00

Well, Rhinebeck has come and gone. On Friday, I was so very excited about it this year, as I had a carload of friends who were going to come with me, and I was eager to meet up with bloggers I read. There were going to be gorgeous yarns and alpacas to pet, and bunnies to see,and it was all going to be enormous fun! I had my digital camera, and I was PREPARED this year.

Cut quickly to Monday, and the after effects. Hah. Prepared my hiney.

Nothing could have prepared me for the crowds on Saturday. Was it my imagination, or did it seem more crowded this year? Cause I certainly felt like it was as I tried to move through the barns. Clautrophobic I am not, but I was struggling to see anything in some places.

Then, my utter lack of PREPAREDNESS meant that I had not communicated well with certain bloggers about meeting them, as in suggesting a time and a place, PLUS, I had neglected to read that there was a group meeting outside Building E at 1:00pm. Sorry Vicki! I would have loved to have met up with you and Ann and Cara again this year. Alas.

My carload of friends dwindled down to one lucky soul, and we did have a wonderful time driving down from Boston. It was windy on the way there, but the sun would come out and we would have glorious views of fall colors. That was nice. We talked about our strategy for "shopping" and we laughed and joked, but there was no singing as I'm sure there was in other carloads going to Rhinebeck. Ahem.

We didn't get to the festival until 11am due to someone's alarm not going off. This same someone was actually woken up by her cat, with a loving claw to the boob. Not a great way to wake up. But it does get one (me) out of bed quickly. (Cat is still alive and very much not at all concerned about his bad behavior.)

I attempted to remain calm, telling myself that there would still be some good yarn left at 11. My first stop is was to go to Greta Dise's booth for her Pot Luck Yarn. I managed to snag a few skeins, but was disappointed to see that a lot of her yarn was gone already. Glad for her, but sad for me.

Then I headed to Vaughn Smith's booth. I love his bowls and mugs.
I managed to score a couple of bowls and a new mug and I told myself they were Christmas presents for someone, but they may just be Christmas presents for me.

My friend found some lovely handspun and hand dyed cashmere blend yarn and she was ecstatic. She also bought a sheep mug and suddenly, we were done! 3.5 hours driving, 20 minutes shopping. Ah, well, that's how it goes.

We proceeded to walk through the barns and tents and buildings, we stood in line for over an hour for a chicken pot pie, and we shopped some more. The entire time, I kept my eyes peeled for bloggers, but alas, couldn't see anyone I recognized.

Where are the pictures, you might ask. Didn't Mary say she had her camera with her?
Indeed, I did take my camera, as well as extra batteries, and my friend had hers with her as well. However. She took two quick pictures and her memory card was full. And apparently my camera is broken, as it would not turn on. Even with fresh batteries.
So, no pics of the crowds, the animals, the wine slings, or the fall foliage. Grrr.

To sum up, I went to Rhinebeck, was late getting there, and was confounded by the crowds. I wasn't able to find anyone, and I couldn't take any pictures. Lest I sound too whiny, I did get some lovely yarn to make a wrap with, and I did have a great time bonding with my friend. It was a glorious October day. It was a good trip. But not the great trip I had hoped for.

Now to start mapping my strategy and planning for next year.

2006-10-15T20:47:00.000-04:00

I am such a bad blogger. Wow, it's been so long since I posted anything, that I think it would be safe to say this is like starting over.

Anywho, Laurie, of CAP fame started a meme and I thought I'd jump in and answer it. One way to get back into the swing of writing. Right? Well, we'll see.

Here goes the The Power of Four

Four jobs I’ve had:

* Wife (who says it isn't a job?)
* Mom (hardest job EVER)
* Girl Scout camp horseback instructor
* junior high teacher (kind of like being a mom, but with books)

Four movies I can watch over and over:

* Harry Potter movies, especially Prisoner of Azkabhan
* Dodgeball (I don't know why, but it makes me laugh)
* Millions (awesome kids in this movie)
* I love Back to the Future, also. And I Married an Axe Murderer, and Shrek I and II and Young Frankenstein. There are more, but that'll do for now.

Four places I have lived:

* Houston, Texas
* Owatonna, Minnesota
* Marquette, Michigan
* Brownsburg, Indiana

Four television shows I love to watch:

* Grey's Anatomy
* Heroes
* Gilmore Girls
* Ugly Betty

Four places I have been on vacation:

* Edinburgh, Scotland
* London, England
* Sanibel Island, Florida
* Rome, Italy

Four of my favorite dishes:

* Fried potatoes with bits of onion and ham
* Fried clams (best summertime treat)
* Fettucini Carbonara from the North End in Boston.
* Creme Brule

Four websites I visit daily:

* http://rrr.kimcm.dk/forum/ These people have helped me so much!
* boston.com (for weather, news and arts and entertainment)
* crazyauntpurl.com - someone who understands and writes about it so very well.
* http://knitorious.typepad.com/knitorious/ Vicki's blog is so wonderful to read. It's like a drink of cold water, very satisfying and refreshing.

Four places I would rather be right now:

* Scotland. Anywhere. I love it. Beautiful beautiful place.
* In a cafe in Paris eating a pastry, drinking a coffee and watching the world walk by. (Me too, Aunt Purl)
* Hanging out with friends, going to the movies or out to dinner.
* Snuggling. (yeah, I miss that too.)

So that's the meme. Maybe I'll be more inclined to write again. There's a lot going on here, knitwise and lifewise. Hmmmm. Perhaps I'll share.

2006-07-20T11:00:00.000-04:00

Okay, so it's been kind of busy at my house and I haven't been blogging or knitting or anything fun. It's called prepping for a divorce and I'll spare you the lovely details of researching finances and splitting up belongings, preparing to sell a house, redefining boundaries, etc.

However, this came through in my email today and I'm intrigued.

Would they work? Or would they be annoying? I really don't have to worry about bothering anyone in bed with a light on anymore, but these look kind of cute. Maybe they would be good in a car at night? Who knows? But I'm thinking of ordering a pair and if I do, I'll be sure to report.

2006-07-06T09:53:00.000-04:00

Hooray!!!!

2006-07-04T10:50:00.000-04:00

Happy Fourth of July!!!

A great day for homemade vanilla ice cream, blueberries and strawberries, and cooking out.

And also for this...

We in the Boston area have a generous assortment of diversions for the day. I may just join the throngs by the river to hear the Boston Pops play and see the fireworks. It's a wonderful thing to see so many different people come together to celebrate.

2006-06-26T09:34:00.000-04:00

It's been a rainy, humid, yucky weather type weekend here and I just wanted to come and vent a bit.

Last Thursday, I had to take my dear daughter to the doctor's for her physical for college. We're on a tight time-frame anyway, as she decided kind of late where she was going to go, etc. Anyway, getting the appointment was a huge effort on my part, to which she was less than thrilled and it turned into this operatic event in our lives, before we came to our senses, and just went to the appointment. I'll spare you the details, but it involved her not wanting to change her schedule, me having to leave work for the appointment, no insurance because her father "has a plan" etc. Whew!

So, we went to the appointment, and got the forms filled out, and today, when getting ready to mail them, I looked them over one more time, and sure enough, they were not stamped with the official office stamp, so I have to go back to the doctor's office, pay for parking, and get them to stamp the stupid forms. Sigh. And then mail them out.

I thought getting her ready to go to college was gonna be fun! I want to go to here, and shop and not be fussing with these stupid documents.

Dear daughter is working today, besides which she doesn't drive (long story) so it's up to me. I hope someday, somewhere, I get some credit for this.

2006-06-21T06:05:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post, (as opposed to no posts at all, I suppose) to wish my eldest child happy birthday.

He came on the summer breeze and he's been a pretty sunny kid most of his life. Thanks, Drew, for being a sweet, smart son. Love you.

2006-06-08T15:14:00.000-04:00

Always one to jump on the bandwagon, I thought I'd do the meme that has been floating around the blogs lately. Although revisiting high school can be traumatic at times, this was kind of fun. My ancient brain had to get revved up to remember all of this stuff.

Fill in the blanks about your senior year. The longer ago it was the better.

1. Who was your best friend?: Cindy and Julie

2. What sports did you play?: Girls didn't really play sports in the dark ages. I did run girl's track one year.

3. What kind of car did you drive?: Mom's Ford station wagon, if I was lucky.

4. It's Friday night, where were you at?: in the fall, it was football games and in the winter, it was BASKETBALL games. Hoosiers love their high school basketball.

5. Were you a party animal?: Um, no.

6. Were you considered a flirt?: Too shy.

7. Ever skip school?: NEVER. My dad would have killed me.

8. Ever smoke?: Both of my parents smoked but none of my friends did, so I guess I never wanted to.

9. Were you a nerd?: I think I was just average.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled?: Nope.

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?: There's an alma mater?

12. Who was your favorite teacher?: Mr. Tommy Tomlinson. Math.

13. Favorite class?: Humanities, senior year.

14. What was your school's full name?: Brownsburg High School

15. School mascot?: Brownsburg Bulldogs

16. Did you go to Prom?: Well, that's a long, weird story, but no.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?: Yikes! Not if my life depended on it.

18. What do you remember most about graduation?: The guy sitting next to me had big 'fro-style hair and his cap wouldn't stay on. And I had to sing in a quartet. It was sort of a hymn. I doubt that you could use it today.

19. Favorite memory of your senior year?: Getting into the college I wanted.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?: Not sure.

21. Did you have a job your senior year?: Only in the summers. Waitressing at summer hot spot.

22. Who did you date?: A guy from Michigan, the boy who didn't take me to the prom, and the brother of the girl my boyfriend did take to the prom. Told ya it was weird.

23. Where did you go most often for lunch?: We weren't allowed off campus.

24. Have you gained weight since then?: Um, yeah.

25. What did you do after graduation?: Went to college in Tennessee.

26. When did you graduate? 1973. Gulp.

2006-05-28T20:09:00.000-04:00

Cardigirl Knits

Oh gee, well, um, what can I say? It's been almost 3 months since I started this blog and I've got a grand total of 3, that's right t-h-r-e-e entries. Hmmm. I suppose I could tell you that my computer broke and only now is repaired, or maybe that I broke my good typing finger and am only now recovered enought to write again. I doubt that those stories would go over though. The truth is...I was just not inspired.

A number of things have happened since the last post, and most were good. My youngest brother got engaged, and I helped him to surprise his fiancee here in Boston. It was fun to be a part of something so happy.

My daughter went to Thailand and returned in one piece (although with a tattoo!) and for that I'm grateful. That's a picture of the spider who lived in her room for a week while she was helping rescued wildlife. I think she was very brave to even sleep in the same room as that giant thing. But then, I thought she was very brave for going to Thailand to live with people she didn't know and work outside in very humid and hot weather to take care of the bears and monkeys and tiger that were at the animal compound. I would have come home after a week. Because, spiders and me do not mix. Actually, humidity and me do not mix. I would have loved dealing with the animals though. They sounded really great.

And I've been trying to accept my position in life and make the best of it. I wish I could be as eloquent about the experience of divorce as Aunt Purl is but I'm thinking that writing that well takes practice.

Holiday weekends are hard, when you've not got much family around. What used to be a time for celebration and lots of company, becomes a time of introspection and missing the celebrations of the past. While most of the time I can appreciate the positives my "singleness," the holidays serve to remind me more of what it is I no longer am a part of. Today I went to the beach, because I love the ocean and the sand and the salt air. It was a glorious day. And it was good. I'm glad I went. I'm very glad I went. But, just for a moment, I remembered all of those trips to the beach with my husband and two kids in the car and the fun we had. And it twinged me just a little.

That's the good news. It was a momentary twinge. Not a full blown crash, just a little pinch and then I was able to stay in the moment and enjoy the day. Hey, it's progress!

2006-03-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

He was our favorite player. My daughter learned to mark a scorecard watching him play when her dad took her and her brother to games at the Metrodome. My son watched him hit the home run that kept the Twins in the 1981 World Series in the 6th game and got to see him play in the Metrodome as they won the 7th game. He was the inspiration for the kids' baseball passion and I even enjoyed watching him play despite my distinct lack of baseball passion. Our cat is his namesake.

And now he is gone. It's hard to believe. His career ended so abruptly and now his life too. I've read the columns and the press about the outpouring of feelings in Minnesota after his death, and I've mourned him too. I don't know of any other sports figure who could make me feel that way.

When David Letterman was doing a series of Friday night shows where he would have the entire audience be from one area, he chose Minneapolis/St. Paul as one of the cities he would base a show around. He would bring on guests that were important to that area or famous from that area. Of course he included Kirby Puckett as his guest for the Minnesota show. When he introduced Kirby, the entire audience went crazy, chanting "Kirby! Kirby!" It lasted quite awhile. And while that was enough to cause me to tear up, it was Letterman's reaction that really got me. He was so taken aback at the love and admiration for Kirby, he was almost in tears. It was an amazing evening.

I will always remember Kirby playing baseball. Rounding 3rd base, leaping up to rob someone of a home run in centerfield. Built like a sparkplug, he was truly a graceful and great player.

2006-03-04T15:17:00.000-05:00

Starting over. Not fun, but not horrible. I know that there are thousands of us 50-something women out there who find themselves starting over at a time in their lives when they thought things would be different.

My story is probably very familiar to many of you. Up until I was 47, I was a busy wife and mother, raising a ballerina (see photo at left) and a rock star, when my husband decided he no longer wanted to be married and moved out of our home into a nice little apartment in Downtown Boston, where he could pursue a "romantic relationship" as he put it.

Shocked is putting it mildly when I found this out. Then horrified, and then distraught. But that was over three years ago. And I feel like I have moved on somewhat. Heh.

I have two children, and they are both on the threshold of leaving as well. In fact, my son is on his own and doing fine.
My daughter is now in Thailand and will soon be heading off for four years or more of college. So at the age of 50 I find myself alone. And perhaps poised for a great adventure.

I'm hoping to journal my thoughts about this new direction my life is taking and see growth with time passing.

And maybe, just maybe, chronicle my growth as a knitter.